December, Snow and Self Care

Guys. It’s December. Can you feel it? Can you feel the change in atmosphere when you open your eyes, when you move through your day just like every other day but there is just a little something different. There’s just a little bit of extra magic in the air.

That’s my mood this morning. It started snowing last night, and right now Prague is covered in a thin white layer that’s only just barely started getting brown and gross where they’ve cleared the roads and sidewalks. It’s cold but in that good way that warms your heart even as the icy wind sticks to your cheeks and bites at your fingers. 

I love December. Christmas, Yule, whatever you call the thing we’re moving towards, I love the ambiance and the aesthetics, the anticipation, the way this city gets filled up with lights and markets and mulled wine and baked goods. There is nothing I don’t love about this season. And I really need it to be December right now. I need the decorations and the music and the warmth and cold and the colors and the vibrations in the air, because it has been a very difficult week. And last night when it started to snow, I finally felt like maybe things will be turning around.

December starting means something else just happened that I can’t avoid talking about: the end of NaNoWriMo. I want to offer my warmest congratulations to everyone who managed to win, you have all worked your asses off and I am so proud of you all! And to all of you fellow writers who didn’t make it to the finish line; I’m proud of us too, because we worked hard even if we didn’t work 50.000 words hard.

How did I do? Well, last week I said I believed I could get to 30.000 words. That would have been true, if I hadn’t woken up Monday under a heavy blanket of depression that I didn’t see coming. Pressure loomed over me so intensely I could barely make myself get out of bed. It was horrible. And it hasn’t really gotten much better. So, it should come at no surprise that my total word count is not 30.000. My total word count for NaNoWriMo is 25.396 words. But I’m not embarrassed or ashamed or any nonsense like that. I’m just happy I wrote at all. And actually, when I put my NaNo words into my official draft document, do you know what I found? Combined with the words I wrote in PrepTober, the total amount of words is fifty fucking thousand. So this fall, I DID write 50.000 words. I just didn’t write them all in November, and that’s okay.

So what now? Well, December is here, and I promised myself that I would not make myself write new words at all in December, and I’m sticking to that. I still have my critique meetings, so I get to work a little on words that already exist, and that’ll just have to be enough. I think it will be. And by the end of the month, we’ll see where my head is at and what I can expect from the new year. 

Sorry for making it another short one today, but I really need to get going on my submissions for the critique groups. And after that, all the writing I’m doing for the week is done until next Saturday. In between, there will be nothing but the self care I sorely need. 

Happy December, everyone. I hope you’re all so proud of yourselves for whatever you accomplished in November ❤

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a novel to work on.

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