Wonderful Yet Terrifying: the Reality of Change

It’s been a week, guys. The heat is extreme, I have no idea how my rats are still alive, my hair looks absolutely amazing, oh, and also, there are some pretty massive life changes happening in my life. One very nice change is that I’m getting closer with this incredible woman I’ve been dating, but there are other equally terrifying changes with equally big risks.

It might not sound so extreme, but I start a new job on Monday. Yesterday was my last day with a company I’ve worked at for four years. I didn’t work there that long because it was the perfect place for me, but because changing jobs is stressful and making any kind of significant changes in my life gives me hives.

With a change in jobs comes a natural change in routines. I don’t know if you can tell by ever having read any post I’ve written, ever, but I love my routines. I thrive with a basic level of predictability. The fact that things are about to change drastically is pretty terrifying to me, even though I am so thoroughly excited to start working at this new place which sounds so much better for me.

Now, because of the terror I associate with change, I figured “go big or go home”. So since this big change is already happening, why not take the chance to instigate other changes into my daily life? Like finally getting back to writing regularly again!

I know I’ve said this a lot lately, but hear me out. Next week, at the same time as my new job, Camp NaNoWriMo kicks off. I didn’t participate in April because Massive Clinical Depression Episode, but this time, I am ready for it. I have been gearing up to writing again for so long, and I miss it so much. Writing is the only thing in this world I do exclusively for me, and not doing it feels a lot like not breathing.

So I’m seizing the opportunity to get back into it. I don’t have to start as early in the morning at my new job, which means I can get back into the routine of writing in the morning. Mornings are always best for me, when my head is still a bit cloudy from sleep and coffee is just awakening my senses and I put on beautiful instrumental music to lull my brain into creative bliss.

This time around, though, I’m aiming lower. Part of my problem is that I always set too high standards for myself and then I crumble under the pressure. During Camp this summer, my goal is to write 500 words every day on Blade of Broken Bones.

Five hundred words daily. I can do that, right?

Alright, so now that I’m done confessing how panicked I am about all this change happening and how I’m trying to take advantage and spin it into something purely good and useful, can I take a second to whine about this insane heat? I love Prague more than anything, this city is the love of my life, but damn, I did not sign up for this humidity when I moved here. And the current heat wave happening is absolute murder. Luckily I’m headed to a lake with some friends later for some splashing around in the cool water! I’ve never been swimming in a lake before, I’m an ocean girl myself, but hopefully my nightmare about being eaten my pond-scum or whatever is very far removed from reality. Though if you don’t hear from me next Saturday, assume nasty pond-monster incident occurred.

I hope all the rest of you are managing whatever changes are happening in your lives, and remember to stay hydrated!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a novel to write.


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